Beauty and the Feast

As you may know, Mr. Charles and I recently took to the skies and headed down to Walt Disney World for our friends’ very magical wedding. For those of you who don’t know, what the hell? Pay attention!

It’s a widely known fact (amongst our friends and a large section of the internet) that Mr. Charles and I are quite the Disney fanatics. We look forward to heading down there as often as we can. Sadly, due to the huge gaping hole in my wallet, that isn’t very often at all. So in an effort to enjoy both a wedding and a vacation, we extended our stay and made a go of it.

You may be asking yourself, “What on earth does Walt Disney World have to do with restaurant reviews?” Well, my cynical readers, I shall tell you…everything.  You see my darlings, the Happiest Place on Earth is way more than four of the bestest most amazing amusement parks in the history of everything. It is in fact an adventure of all things delicious!!! Not convinced? I had a feeling you would take some persuading. So please allow me and a few of my travel companions (including your beloved Mr. Charles) to offer you a taste of all the snacks and properly chilled adult beverages the wonderful world of Disney has to offer.

            We will start with me, because it’s my blog and I say so!

            When you hear “park snacks”, you think of the old stand-bys. Some sort of fried dough, some sort of hot dog on a stick, cotton candy, popcorn etc. And while all of these are available to you in some form or another in the Happiest Place on Earth, and are the best you will ever have, they are simply overshadowed by the myriad of other treats these theme parks have to offer. Take for example, the famous “Mickey-on-a-Stick” ice cream novelty; sure, we have all had some sort of ice cream bar at some point in our lives, but none like this. Can you really say no to Dove chocolate-covered Haagen-Dazs ice cream?!? I think not…unless of course you are saving room for a Dole Whip float.  Found only at Aloha Isle in the Magic Kingdom (or make your own at the Polynesian resort), this non-dairy pineapple-y frozen yumminess, floating atop a refreshing serving of Dole pineapple juice, is reason enough to pay for park admission. It’s sweet and ice-cream-like, but not at all ice cream.

I dream about this concoction. They are very pleasant dreams.

            Sure you can have a corn dog (which, by the way, are excellent!), but when you smell the smoky goodness of the dinosaur-sized turkey legs, you may find yourself swayed in that direction. You would not be sorry either.  I kinda want one now.

            Once you reach Epcot’s World Showcase, however, your snack world will be forever changed. On every visit Mr. Charles and I challenge ourselves to make our way through eleven countries, while sampling all of the treats and alcoholic goodness each county has to offer. This practice is commonly referred to as “Drinking (or Eating) Around the World.” It is, in a word, epic!

            We always start in Mexico. Some delicious cheese empanadas topped with a chili cream sauce and some crunchy nachos provide a great base for the task at hand. Everything tastes fresh and has an authentic feel. Perhaps it’s the giant sombreros hanging near by. We washed down our snacks with a frozen strawberry margarita, which packed quite a punch, and we were ready for the day!

            Moving on to Norway: There was beer, and most importantly a little something they call school bread. A cake-like pastry, filled with a custardy cream, and topped with coconut and powdered sugar. It is a sweet ball of awesome. I could certainly polish one off in a matter of seconds, but since they are a decent size, they are great for sharing!

            From Norway we move on to China. We enjoyed some egg rolls here, which were crispy and savory and delicious. They were not at all greasy, and are a must if you ask me. Normally I would enjoy a glass of plum wine with my egg rolls, but on the occasion,
Mr. Charles was distracted by a little something they call “Tipsy Ducks in Love”…WHAT?!!? How do you even come up with that name?!? Absurd! But this iced coffee and tea concoction with chocolate and bourbon spoke to my inner New Englander (iced coffee, until recently, has been hard to come by in Walt Disney World) and we had to have it. Friends, this beverage was so good I would have wrestled the Mouse himself just to have one. I do wish it would have been mixed a tad more, however. By the time we got to the bottom, it was mostly bourbon. I let Mr. C have that part. I was ready to move on to Germany!

            In Germany, Mr. Charles decided to order himself a bratwurst with sauerkraut, and a lovely glass of Liebfraumilch (German sweet white wine) for me. As I sipped my wine, I found myself jealous of his snack, and asked for a bite. After I finished off at least half of it, I discovered that bratwurst and sauerkraut (which I had never had before) was delicious! And it went very well with my beverage. Sorry, Mr. Charles.

It is important to note here, that we made a few other trips to the World Showcase this trip, and on a separate excursion we decided to partake in a German wine flight. The stand-out here was the apple wine. I chuckled as the lovely barkeep explained how this is from her hometown, Frankfurt, and how there really is no way to describe it. I was convinced that I, the novice food blogger, could find a word for it. Oh, how stupid I am. Is it dry? Yes and no. Is it sweet? Yes and no.  Is it tart? Yes and no. There is no word for this wine. I couldn’t even figure out if I liked it. I have no idea what it tasted like even though I was in the process of tasting it. For that reason alone, I liked it.

            From Germany, we usually head on over to Italy. Here we sipped peach bellinis, which were made from a lovely prosecco and pureed peaches. How refreshing! On one of our later trips here, I had the pleasure if enjoying an authentic Neapolitan pizza! Jealous? You should be! Fontina cheese, artichokes, and truffle oil. And the water used in making the dough is identical in composition to the water in Naples, Italy (the Orlando area water is not so great).

On the day we had to leave, we made our way back to this area again with some friends. What better way is there to say goodbye than with some fresh bruschetta, some marinated olives that won’t ever leave my brain, and some mussels in tomato and garlic broth. Oh, man! If you weren’t jealous before, you definitely are now!

            We popped into The American Adventure for a short time, to take a hydration break, and kept on trucking. Here you can get some of those monster turkey legs, or a funnel cake if that’s your thing. I eat in America every day so to me this is just a rest stop.

            Next up is Japan! Plum wine here! They age the plums for up to eleven years. This stuff packs a punch. It’s sweet and strong. For food we had some delicious Japanese curry with tempura chicken. This would be a prime example of the difference between Walt Disney World park snacks and the rest of the world. This curry, although relatively inexpensive and sold at a counter service restaurant, had clearly been cooking for hours. It was rich and complex. It was warm and comforting. Even in 90 degree weather, it was still wonderful.

            From Japan we ventured to Morocco. This, in my opinion, is one of the crown jewels of the World Showcase. Surrounded by amazing tile mosaics we enjoyed a sample platter of grilled lamb and chicken with onions and tzaziki (a yogurt and cucumber sauce), with fresh hummus, couscous, tabuli, and fresh baked bread. This was one of my ultimate meals. This was what World Showcase was all about. Friends, please try the food here should you ever be presented with the opportunity. It gets a Redhead Full Bottle indeed!

            From Morocco we go to France. My friend Doll will tell you a little about her faves there a little later in this post! From French pastries to wine flights to my favorite, chocolate crepes, this area is tres bein! But the crème de la crème is the Grand Marnier Slushy. Served in a pseudo-fancy plastic martini glass, this delicious libation is the stuff that dreams are made of. One sip and you will hear an off-stage chorus singing French songs to you. Le sigh…

            One quick stroll across the pond, and we arrive in the UK. A cider and black (Strong Bow cider with black current juice) and some fish and chips are a perfect pair! As a New England gal, I know fish and chips, and friends, this is it! We also took the opportunity to sample something the Brits call “mushy peas.”  They tasted like…drum roll please…wait for it…PEAS!!! Go figure…

            Lastly there was Canada. The only snack they offer is popcorn. But it’s a great place for a beer and water break!

So there it is, my argument that not all park food is created equal.

But in the words of Reading Rainbow’s Lavar Burton, “You don’t have to take my word for it!” Ba-Dun-Dun!

From fellow traveler Doll:

WDW has excellent snacks. From the beignets at The Port Orleans French Quarter Hotel to the Dole Whip Floats in Disney’s Magic Kingdom, there is something for everybody. Epcot’s World Showcase is the Mecca of park snacks. Eleven countries are represented in pavilions and each contains authentic food and drink from native lands. Mexico’s chips and guacamole never disappoint and Norway’s school bread is a pastry that haunts my dreams. The best of the best exists in France. There is a crepe and ice cream stand near the lagoon that makes chocolate, strawberry and ice cream (!) crepes to order. One bite into a chocolate or strawberry (I can never decide which I heart more) crepe and you see God, or at least Pere Noel. Tucked in the back of the Pavilion is the Boulangerie Patisserie. At every stay I always skip breakfast at the hotel on a day we go to Epcot. I patiently (well not exactly patiently)wait for the rope to come down at the World Showcase border at 11 am and rush, with many competitors around me to this perfect little shop. I adore the Tomato and Cheese Tartines and the Strawberry Tarts that have unparalleled custard and a crust that is sweet, salty, buttery, crumbly and divine. The chocolate croissants are the best on property, in my opinion, and I may have tried all of them. If only a French Roast coffee were served, but alas the iced cappuccino more than suffices after many mornings plagued with Disney’s favorite coffee, Nescafe. Spectacular meals are found throughout property, but the best snacks, for me, will always be found in France.

From Jenny, the bride herself:

I love junk. I love your typical amusement park “I’m going to eat this greasy mess and see how many times I can ride the Tilt-a-Whirl” junk. But more than junk, I love the snacks that Walt Disney World has to offer.

            My favorite without a question is the Dole Whip pineapple float from Aloha Isle in Advenutreland at the Magic Kingdom. It is pineapple soft serve with pineapple juice. I love the flavor, and to me it tastes like Disney.

            I also love the experience of sitting down with one and people watching. I have come up with a game that involves enjoying a Dole Whip Float with my husband. I eat mine as fast a possible and watch him as he slowly enjoys his. Then I devour some of his.

And from Mr. Charles:

If there’s one thing in this world I know and love, it’s Walt Disney World.  If there’s a second thing though, it’s food.  The fact that my favorite place on earth is a veritable Mecca for my favorite thing on earth makes it all the more sweeter.  I could elaborate on the aforementioned Norwegian school bread, mammoth turkey legs, or German bratwurst.  But I can sum up all Walt Disney World food and drink recommendations in three words:  Grand Marnier Slushy.

Book a plane ticket.  Order park admission.  Rent a car.  Sell your children. Get packing.  Whatever you have to do, get yourself to Epcot to try one of these drinks.  Despite all my efforts, I have yet to be able to replicate the sweet goodness of the drink at home. The drink kiosk that sells it also has a terrific Grey Goose Lemonade Slushy, but I only allow myself one of those in-between Grand Marnier Slushies.

Don’t drink alcohol?  Guess what? You’re off the wagon now.  Get a Grand Marnier Slushy.

Don’t like orange frozen drinks?  Too bad, nobody cares.  Get a Grand Marnier Slushy.

You’re only seven years old?  Shut your mouth-hole.  Wait 14 years and get a Grand Marnier Slushy.

Go get one. ‘Nuff said. I would punch a baby for a sip.  I shall use the rest of my allotted space here to subliminally convince you to get one:

GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY. GRAND MARNIER SLUSHY.

Thank you for your time.

Ok then! So that’s it, kids. If you’re not booking your next trip now, you should be! If you’re still not convinced, well then you don’t really love food as much as a thought you did…I feel betrayed, duped even… Now I’m sad!...I wish I had a Grand Marnier Slushy in which to drown my sorrows…